After watching this video from Elsa P., (www.elsaelsa.com/archives/…tionship/) about projection in relationships, I got to thinking about what bothers us in others, particularly in relationships/friendships, and how those qualities are usually traits we hide from ourselves. I also read (in the comments, I think) that to dilute the negative feelings associated with the “shadow self,” or that part of us that we project on others, we must accept those qualities on our own.

So I listed some of the qualities (some I love and some irritating) of people I’m attracted to, romantically and platonically and here’s what I got:

Eccentric

Weird

Culturally/ethnically unique (many of my friends are people who don’t hang out within their ethnic groups or are rebels in them)

Politically aware

Intelligent

Restless

FLAKY???

Friendly

Independent

And I just freaked out at this because although I always knew I had an Aquarian desc., I never really accepted this shadow self business because I thought I could never be flaky or restless or too social- I’m a sensitive water well, dammit! But this list is recalling so many instances in which I’ve fit these descriptions, and its quite shaky for someone with all the water I have in my chart to accept, especially considering the jealousy/possessiveness issues I’ve had for much of my life (some of which have diluted since I was exposed to more Buddhist principles, but you know).

Flakiness is the hardest one to swallow. I just noticed it in myself today after a bit of an icy voice from this Scorpio I was supposed to call up but didn’t for a couple of weeks I mean, I know I was just busy, but that kind of cold voice- I’ve never gotten that (Pluto transiting Venus is also starting right now)., but I realized that I’ve given it to the flakes in my life before. It’s a simple example, but it dawned on me that I probably have many of the qualities I complain about in my friends. Last month, for instance, I complained to my best friend that she never calls me, whine whine, and today I also noticed that I am probably one of the worst phone call returners out there. This sounds like no big deal, but I feel like a big ole hypocrite and whiner.

But where does one go from here? I mean, how do you even begin to own your shadow self, and once you do, how do relationships pan out differently, and do you attract different types of ppl than before? I would love to hear about your desc./7th house/shadow self and whether you have transcended the negative parts of these, and how did you come to the realization that you often attract what you’re just projecting? And if you’ve never thought about this desc./7th house issue, try writing a list and tell me what you think!

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